Carole is Mum to Sophie, soon to be six years old, Oliver aged eight months and Joshua who would have been four years old in May. Joshua passed away in 2017 aged fifteen months. On Mother’s Day we asked Carole what it means to her to be a Mummy, and what Mother’s Day means to her as a bereaved Mum…
To me being a mummy means being a constant source of unconditional love. A protector, a provider, a guide, a teacher, a nurse, a mediator, and most definitely, always a safe place.
In my eyes, no matter my children’s age, they will always be my babies, those butterfly kicks as they wiggled in my womb, to those first sloppy kisses, the gazes of sheer love, followed by smiles of excitement as they realise they have my attention. I’m sure that even as my children grow and reach adulthood, I will always remind them of these cherished moments.
Being a Mummy means that I gift every part of myself to my children, putting their needs first, ahead of my own but it’s not a compromise, nor a trouble.
As a Mummy, I know that I need to raise my children to love themselves and to know their worth, for they are precious. I hope that they will be both kind and courageous. I have the greatest of dreams for them but also the most irrational of fears. I cannot bear the thought of my children being upset, hurt, or more worryingly as a bereaved Mum, I dread the thought of my children being poorly.
As a Mummy, I have hope! I hope more than anything that my children will be happy and healthy. I hope they will be emotionally intelligent; our experiences mean that our family unit encourages open discussion. Another great hope is for them to always be safe.
As Mummy, I find myself often smiling and crying with the most overwhelming feeling of love and pride.
Being a Mummy to my young children means sharing bedtime stories with a cuddle and later peeping in to whisper ‘Goodnight’ whilst they sleep.
Being a Mummy is everything to me, it’s who I am. I am Mummy!Carole, bereaved Mum to Joshua
I am Mummy to Sophie, nearly six, Oliver aged eight months and Joshua who would have been four years old in May. Joshua passed away in 2017 aged fifteen months. His name is said daily, his memory is kept alive and strong, he will always be adored and missed beyond words.
Mother’s Day for me is bittersweet. I should be celebrating with all three children present, instead I mourn Joshua whilst being thankful that I have three children to love, two whom need their Mummy even in the darkest hours of my grief. Sophie and Oliver are my strength, my reason to smile. When asked the dreaded question of “How many children do you have?” My answer will always be three.
Carole Kelly is Founder of Jolly Josh: Jolly Josh aims to relieve the needs of those with additional needs, complex needs, disabilities and those with profound and multiple learning disabilities, their families and carers within Rochdale and the wider area.