As a mother who lost both of her daughters 21 and 19 years ago now, every day is hard. As the years have passed that awful raw agonising pain has eased somewhat, but missing them gets harder. Always wondering what might have been with each passing year – how they would look, how their lives would be to date?
Having no other children makes it all the more lonely and that is especially hard. I have friends and know of others who have sadly lost precious children, but most have other children. They would all say it is easier for them as they have focus and life around them. They have a future with their children/grandchildren, something to celebrate on Mother’s Day.
All annual celebratory occasions are difficult – Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Birthdays, Anniversaries – they all bring back longing and memories. Mother’s Day, as a mother whose children have departed this world, is a particularly sad one. The words I long to hear again but know I never will are ‘Mum’ and ‘I love you Mum’ and this day, in particular, highlights the longing. I don’t even have my own Mum; she died when I was only 20 and she 50 – 46 years ago now. The word ‘Mum’ doesn’t feature in my life at all.
I get through this Mother’s Day as I do every day and every special occasion, by remembering my sweet girls through happier times. I always feel them with me in spirit and believe they are close by.
Some years ago, I set up Ireland’s First Children’s Hospice in their memory, LauraLynn House, and I know they must smile brightly and with pride knowing their short lives led to bringing comfort and care to many other families. I did all my research around U.K. Children’s Hospices, and want to say, I am forever grateful for the support I got from them.
To finish, I do feel that for those of us who have lost our precious children, Mother’s Day very much highlights our loss and sadness and while I am so happy for the joy it brings to most Mums, it is a difficult one for many. However, it is also a special and wonderful opportunity for children of whatever age to treat their mums, as they so truly deserve. A day to celebrate very special Mums.